Invisible Mother

My friend Kali emailed this story to me, so I share it with all of you.....

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously not; no one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more! Can you fix this? Can you tie this? Can you open this??
Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?' I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'
I was certain that these were the hands that once held books and the eyes that studied history and the mind that graduated summa cum laude -but now, they had disappeared into the peanut butter, never to be seen again. She's going, she's going, she's gone!?
One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England . Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip, and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.' It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it t o me until I read her inscription: 'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'
In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work: No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names. These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished. They made great sacrifices and expected no credit. The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.
A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof, No one will ever see it. And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'
I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte. I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does.
No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cupcake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become. At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life. It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on. The writer of the book went so far as to say that no cathedrals could ever be built in our lifetime because there are so few people willing to sacrifice to that degree.
When I really think about it, I don't want my son to tell the friend he's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for 3 hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want him to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to his friend, to add, 'You're gonna love it there.'
As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot be seen if we're doing it right. And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.
Great Job, MOM!

The Summers family

This morning Duane Summers passed away after fighting cancer for over a year. He left behind his wife, Becky, and thier seven children. Becky used to babysit my siblings and I when she was 11. We knew then that she would be an excellent mother, but did not know that she would have to finish it alone. Lucky she has so many people who love her and Duane, and who are willing to give all they have to help this family. I know that Heavenly Father has a plan for them, and pray that their faith in the Lord will help them through this.
Watching her yesterday and the way she looked at her husband really helped me to appriciate my own husband. I don't know how I would live my life without him, and am grateful for all he does. He is a great daddy, and a great man! Thank you Becky for loving Duane with all your heart. I saw that in your eyes, and learned from it. Becky is a inspiration to me. Through this whole ordeal she has made life go on for her and her children. I aspire to be the kind of wife and mother she is.

Utah trip and Easton's birthday

Here are a few pictures of our recent trip to Utah to visit the family! We had a great time and already miss you all!! Addie and her cousins at the kagaroo zoo.

Easton opening his presents.

Pumpkin Patch

Family picture in the middle of the pumpkin patch!

Easton was the cutest turtle I have ever seen! (Besides my nephew Cohen who wore the costume last year :)

My sweet little Nemo. She decided a few days before Halloween that she didn't want to be Nemo anymore, she wanted to be Ariel. She was really funny at the trunk or treat because there were a lot of mermaids there and she followed them around thewhole time saying "I want to touch them Mommy."

We dressed the kids up and took them to the pumpkin patch a week or so before Halloween. Forgive me because I don't have any pictures of trick or treating yet, they are on my sister in laws camera. Zach, Kelly, and the boys were down from Colorado for Halloween, and we had so much fun with them! I wish we lived closer! I was thinking of flying myself and the kids out there in 2 weeks while Carson hunts, but I have too many clients already booked. Responsibility sucks sometimes huh! But we always enjoy their visits, and Addie is already missing her cousins!

Conversations with my 2 year old

Addie is cracking us up with her funny little personality! I have yet to meet a 2 year old with as many expressions as Miss Addie. I wanted to write down some of our funny conversations so that when she is 16 I can remember how cute she once was!
She is going to be Nemo for Halloween. Her costume consists of a Nemo onesie thing and to add a little sass to it, I put black tights on her with her black ugg boots over the tights. So the other day I was getting ready to go out and was putting on my black tights and a dress. She looks me up and down and says "You going to be Nemo Mom?"

The very next day I was getting dressed and put my bra on. She says "You putting your boobies on?" Sad to say Addie.. yes I now have to put my boobies on!

At the bank..
Addie: Mom I am going to work at the bank when I get big.
Me: Why Addie?
Addie: hum.. To buy shoes!
Me: shoes? That's all?
Addie: And suckers... to eat suckers!

Getting her chest Xray..
Me: They are going to take pictures of your heart
Addie: CHEESE! CHEESE!

Anyway, Those are just some of the funny things from last week! Unfortunately she is not always this cute, but I try to remember these times when she is driving me crazy asking for one more piece of candy, or not wanting to go to bed, or pulling out her pigtails! :)

Easton's one year pictures

He is growing up way too fast!

A year ago...

One year ago I was in the hospital staring at my beautiful new baby boy. A year and a week ago however I think I was crying in Dr. Nilson's office because I didn't think that boy was ever going to come out! The doctor assured me that no baby stays there forever, but Easton sure seemed pretty comfortable in my belly! I have since realized that they are easier to care for while they are still in the belly! This year has gone by so fast! I really can't believe he is one! We had a birthday party for him during our trip back to Utah to visit Carson's family, and we are having another one tomorrow. (Pictures to come) He was really not too into his presents or his cake. Honestly I think everyone staring at him kinds freaked him out a little!
I never thought I wanted or could handle a boy, but having my little mama's boy has proved me wrong. Don't missunderstand.. whileI love love love Addie, she is certainly more into her Dad than she is me! And Easton is all mine! (Hopefully somewhere down the road this changes because we know what a prissy girl I am!) But for now, I am so perfectly happy with my sweet mama loving baby boy! It will be when he starts peeing outside that I won't know what to do with him!
Speaking of pee..Sorry, but Addie is driving me crazy with the potty training! I decided to not ask her a milion times a day if she needs to go, so now she just goes wherever whenever! Like today.. all over the kitchen floor while standing there saying "mommy..." And then Carson decided she is adult enough to take a nap in underwear. Next time he gets to clean the poop out of the princess panties! Anyway, not to get off subject!
There is so much more to write, but I will have to finish later. Tomorrow is Sunday, and we have a hard time being early to church. (We are always on time, but I like to get there early. Maybe to get a good seat? Not sure why it matters, I spend the morning in the hallway anyway!)